With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

I can't believe Bewitched didn't win last night.

The older I get, my eyebrows show up on other parts of my body!

I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.

NY City Law: Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".

Old NC law: You must stop & call City Hall before entering town in an automobile, so townspeople have time to go out & hold their horses until you get through town.

Is Time Travel worth the time?

Did Captain Kirk pack his Soloflex on the Enterprise with him?

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot, incited by my wicked diet. "We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man! Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can. To rise on Judgment Day, it's plain! With my present weight, I'll need a crane.

Ever wonder what a crowded elevator smells like to a midget?

Did you ever wonder what happened to all the Putt-Putt courses?

Saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Anyone have a clue where I can purchase a case of legal size paper for less than 40.00?

I wonder if people would be upset if Sea World built an amusement part on the grave of Big Willie?

Mary Ann, the Professor, Ginger, the Howells, the Skipper and Gilligan...now THAT would be a fun Reality TV Show.

I'm sorry, but I just don't get, 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' Who ARE these people?

Does it confuse chickens?

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Most of my arguments r now settled w/ "just Google it."

Most of my arguments r now settled w/ "just Google it."

American made parts account for only 1% of the Chrysler Crossfire. 96% of the Ford F-150 Heritage Truck is American.

if mcdonalds sold hot dogs would you be able to - with a straight face order a mcwiener and tell them to supersize it?

Cool mountain morning

Hmmm?

Its weird to think, but somebody, somewhere in the world, is working in a glitter factory.

Its weird to think, but somebody, somewhere in the world, is working in a glitter factory.

Its weird to think, but somebody, somewhere in the world, is working in a glitter factory.

http://ping.fm/sH3HP

http://ping.fm/znfQD
Hysterical

Don't you hate it when you buy a bag of packaged air, and there's chips inside it?

Does anyone eles want a miniature giraffe after seeing that commercial?

Breakfast reading

When you eat some cereal... You read the box.  That's just the way it goes.  No matter how many times you've read it :)

When you eat some cereal... You read the box.  That's just the way it goes.  No matter how many times you've read it :)

When you eat some cereal... You read the box.  That's just the way it goes.  No matter how many times you've read it :)

When you eat some cereal... You read the box.  That's just the way it goes.  No matter how many times you've read it :)

Hiking trip

Usa donuts

America should run on treadmills, instead of on Dunkin.

America should run on treadmills, instead of on Dunkin.

America should run on treadmills, instead of on Dunkin.

America should run on treadmills, instead of on Dunkin.

"dammit im mad" backwards, is "dammit im mad"!